Technoslave

I’m such a slacker, I need to do my taxes … I know I’m getting money back … I suck.

As the two pictures below depict, I might have been at Disney World over the last week. But to be fair, my “vacation” started on the 8th with a trip to Charlotte. I don’t quite recall all of Friday night, supposedly everyone ended up laughing at me, and not with me, but that’s ok because I’m a funny guy. Saturday was more sedate, a couple glasses of wine and then over to Hickory to do some more serious drinking!

Read the rest of this entry »

In what would appear to be another cultural phenomenon gone awry, it too would appear that Disney has gotten goatse’d.

I was over in future land, or land of tomorrow, or some such name, had just finished eating some chicken and ribs with my Mom, Shelley and her three kids.  Walking to the bathroom, I was immediately confronted by the design on the door leading in to the mens bathroom.

To their credit, I checked out the doors to the womens restrooms and it had the same design on it, however it still makes me wonder if some crafty artist wasn’t doing something that many artists tend to do.

Way back in the day … it’s gotten to be that long for me that I can say “back when I was younger” … anyway, back in High School, late 80s, early90s, there was a show called Animaniacs and for whatever stupid reason, last night while thinking about it, I was recapping in my head where all I’ve been this past year.  If you’re interested in the song, www.youtube.com, “animaniacs states”, you’ll find it.

Anyway, to recap.  I started my new job in February, I’ve traveled and traveled and gone places.  Let’s start off with the Left Coast, Washington, Oregon ( not Ore-a-gone ), and California.  Now for most of the East Coast, Florida, Georgia, South and North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts.  I’ve also hit some states in between, Alabama ( got banjos? ), Texas, New Mexico, up and over with Colorado and Utah.  A little further to the north and east and you’ll have Wisconsin, Michigan, and Illinois.  Keep going east and you’ll hit up Ohio and West Virginia.

24 states … if you include the district, then DC as well, but it’s taxed with no representation … so who knows.  Some states that I may have been in but don’t quite recall, New Hampshire and or possibly Rhode Island.

With that there have also been a few jaunts over to the Bahamas.

Overall, a little bit of traveling, but not too much, not enough to get me my 50k, much less 100k that some of my other co-workers manage to achieve.

Oops, I knew I’d let one slip by, and I don’t know why, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen the Arch in person, Missouri.  You see, trips just seem to meld together sometimes.

I don’t know how long ago it was, I could probably look at old photos, but no need, lets call it two to three years ago, I decided to shave my head. Well, after hitting up Miami and the Bahamas and having overly long hair I decided it was time to cut it all off.

I looked at myself in the mirror on a Saturday before Miami and Bahamas and said nah, not this time, I’ll go ahead and let it grow out … which I did for a week…after my few days down south I came back home and in a fit of intolerance I grabbed my sheers and took it all off.

I didn’t want to “style” my hair, didn’t want to do shit with it except keep it short…so much like last time where I did this sometime right around the winter months I did it again…short hair, goatee. Most people comment that it looks good and suits me…Granted I don’t have a fucked up dimpled/hammer induced dent like Bill does when I sheered his head during his stay at my place, and it’s not the first time I’ve heard I look good with this type of hairstyle, but it’s only a matter of time before I grow it all back out…only to repeat the cycle like some droid bee harvesting honey.

to get back on the road again. etc.

So, I’m in Albuquerque, NM. I don’t normally talk about my travels, because despite what it may seem like doing travel for a company isn’t at all glamorous, yeah it can be nice and has some perks, but seriously, given the choice between my bed at home, and a bed in some random hilton/marriott hotel, I’ll take my bed 99 times out of 100 …

So, I’m sitting in Maloney’s Irish/Sports Pub with Morrow ( think Twins, and I’m not Arnold Schwarzenegger, and you’ll have a size comparison between the two of us ) on this street, Central. As we’re sitting here, in Albuquerque NM, we noticed this inordinate amount of traffic on the street. Finally, our curiosity piqued, after having seen the same fire engine traverse up and down the street no less than three times with nary a light flashing, I bother to ask the bar wench what the proverbial deal is.

She responds with every Sunday night people hop in their cars, with about 98% of the cars being total ass - as in I would be ashamed to front my car as being noteworthy, and travel up and down Central Ave showing off their cars. As mentioned above, it’s not just regular people showing off their cars, I saw a few motorcycle riders, and even a couple of fire engines going up and down the street. It was mind boggling. Neither Chris or I could figure out why this apparent phenomenon was occurring, but occurring it was.

Supposedly, New Mexico ( granted the link is about Espanola ) is known as the Lowrider capital of the world, but I guess it is, even though we didn’t really see any, but 20 inch rims on 500 dollar cars we did see.

Anyway, travel, not that exciting, but this is one of those things that really stood out in my mind as just being odd.

I was on my way to visit a customer.  I’m driving on 15 south, just passing the outlet mall.  I look to my right, as I’m in the left lane; no cars, I look back - a wall of black is in front of me.

I was driving behind, not tailgating, but a more than comfortable margin behind a work pickup truck, I didn’t pay much attention to what it’s load was, but it had one of those tubed frames, ladder hanging off it, etc.   When I turned my head back, this wall of black disintegrates in front of me in to 4 or 5 large pieces of black siding, not little siding like on the side of a house, but 2 feet wide and about 12 feet long.  Both hands on 10 and 2 quickly become hands at 1 and 5, my tires squeal under protest at such a sharp swerve at 50 to 55 miles per hour - god my balding tires, please don’t lose traction, rushes through my head.  The wind that the siding has picked up having flipped off this truck help a little bit and move the pieces to the left a little, I’m riding two lanes, the panels pass me at eye height a half foot or two from my window.

The danger passed, the truck in front of me puts on his breaks but isn’t stopping, fat lot of good that’s going to do, I check the rear view mirror and see people swerving over to the right lane.  I expected to feel an adrenalin rush, much like the time there was a braking incident getting back on to 95 from the Springfield Mall, but there wasn’t anything, disappointing.

In the Bahamas, I forgot to bring my razor and shaving cream, so I went over to Atlantis and bought one of those nifty Gillette 5 bladed razors…might just be because the razor is new and not used, but damn that was a fine shave, I feel like a new man.

Story from www.news.com.au

“THE world’s oldest person, a Japanese woman who counted eating well and getting rest as her hobbies, has died aged 114, a news report says.

Yone Minagawa, a widow who lived in a nursing home but was still sprightly late in life, died “of old age” yesterday, Kyodo News reported.”

I guess if she were in America she’d have died from congenital heart stop workingagism or some such bullshit.

Way to go!

*NOTE* I just liked the title better, I know it was reported by Japanese News that she died of “old age” but saying “Got to love them Japs” just seems so 1945, especially if you add “extra cripsy” to the end of it.